It’s okay to not be okay

It’s okay to not be okay.  This phrase seems to be everywhere these days.  But what do you do when some people who see you quite often have no idea that you aren’t okay?  

Recently, I’ve been struggling mentally.  I’ve found myself in a depressive episode where I’ve beat myself up about things, not wanting to go to work, struggling to get out of bed and many other things that I do when rather depressed.  However, my coworkers, friends, and some family members have no idea how much I’ve been struggling.  A coworker made a comment saying I would never do something that someone who is struggling might do (what it was I can’t’ remember).  My first thought was that she has no idea if I would or wouldn’t do that.  She has no idea that behind the smile and friendliness is someone who’s suffering from so much self inflicted stress and feelings that I am not okay.

So if it’s okay to not be okay how do I do so when sometimes I feel as if I have to be okay?