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Test beget tests

Tests beget tests. That’s what I keep reminding myself. The truth though is besides from being tired of all the testing and scared of the possibility that they might find something, I’m really just angry and frustrated. I know it’s all to be through and for the sake of my future but at what point do I get a break? For almost the last 18 months it’s been one thing after another. Everyone keeps telling me things will calm down but every time I think I might be approaching that point another test begets tests. I want so badly to put a close to this chapter of my story but the truth is I’m just not there yet. And I can’t compare my story to others. I just have to have hope and faith that the tests all return desirable results.

Me waiting for a CT scan last week

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Reflection on 2017

I’ve never been one to really reminisce at the end of the year but I realized the other day that hasn’t been any typical year. In 2017, I finished chemo, had two surgeries, eight weeks of physical therapy, 33 days of radiation, and finished a year of herceptin treatments. Add in the countless appointments, scans, and ultrasounds, and I’m exhausted. But I survived and I’m coming out of it all a stronger person. And I’m thankful, I’m thankful for it all because it’s all to make sure I get to continue to live.