Category: Uncategorized

Comparison.  I feel like everyone says that we shouldn’t compare ourselves to others but everyone does it, especially in the age of social media and the constant sharing of all of life’s details.  I know I struggle with comparison, especially when it comes to the stories of others in the cancer community.  It’s all too easy to look at someone’s Instagram and see them on vacation or whatever and wonder what I am doing wrong that I don’t get to go on a two-week exotic vacation.

Then sometimes I can find myself jealous of those who have reached point that perhaps resembles something closer to normal.  I get jealous of those who only have to do to the doctor every so often.  I get jealous of people who get to do things that I never wanted to do because it is a reminder of something that cancer took from me.

So how do I deal with it?  I practice a lot of mindfulness and try to be present in my moment and not put myself into the highlights of someone elses story.  I also remind myself that everyone has something, whether or not they’ve had cancer, everyone has something that they compare to someone elses story.  Finally, the best way I’ve found to deal with comparison is to take more ownership of my story.  Whether or not anyone else ever reads this post or likes my latest Instagram I find the more I share my story both in real life and in the digital world it helps lessen the feelings of doubt and jealousy that come with comparison.

The other day I had come home from somewhere and just completely lost my shit. These past few weeks have been filled with appointments and tests and I had had enough and the stress just had to come out of my eyeballs crying tears over something so insignificant at the time I can’t remember what it was. But at the time it had me worked up and I decided I just needed to meditate. I needed to sit and just be with my emotions at that moment. And by being present and putting space between me and my thoughts I found the perspective I needed to calm down and move on with my day.

I felt the need to write about this as a reminder to myself that when times get to be too much I always have the breath that I can return to, that I can meditate for just one minute and realize that thoughts are just thoughts and mean nothing. And this is important because they say managing stress is good for cancer survivors and overall health and for me meditation is the cheapest, easiest form of stress relief there is.