#cancersurvivor

Don’t tell me what to do!

The other day I saw an Instagram post about finding someone who you can share all your baggage that has resulted from cancer or some sort of genetic mutation and it got me thinking. First, I got to thinking about the Instagram “cancer influencers” that I found and followed on and off for a couple of years.  Second, I got to thinking about all of the reasons that being single right now is pretty awesome.

A lot of the cancer influencers I have found fit an easy to describe mold. They are usually married and were married before their cancer diagnosis. Then they are skinny and fit, comfortable showing their scars naked or in a swimsuit. Perhaps most the best way to describe it is that in the Cancer High School for Young Survivors they would be the popular cheerleader types. I can’t think of anybody I’ve found who has some sort of similarity to my story. I was single before, during, and after cancer. I’m not skinny and fit where I would feel comfortable showing my scars to anyone let alone the whole of Instagram. I don’t even like wearing a bathing suit without putting my long sleeved rash guard over top. (The rashguard is also skin cancer prevention, but I digress.) I don’t want kids, never have wanted kids, and now can’t have kids, which is hard for my fellow “breasties” to understand. What I’m getting at is I have a lot of ducking baggage that I can’t handle sometimes and continues to impact me still, so how the hell am I going to worry about finding a potential partner who is willing to help with my baggage? I know this person’s post meant well but it was really a reminder of how different people’s journeys can be sometimes.

It also got me thinking of all the reasons why being is awesome.

  1. I get the whole darn bed to myself, if I want to lay diagonally across the bed then that’s what I am going to do.
  2. I don’t have to worry about how much money I spend.  If I want a $99 eye cream then I’m going to buy it, I don’t have to worry about anyone else.  Well except for future me who gets the AMEX bill and might yell at past me for spending too much on eye cream.
  3. Maybe the biggest reason being single is awesome is I get to figure out who I am on my own before finding someone who might want to hold some of my baggage.  

Cancer is a battle, if it was easy it wouldn’t be such a bitch. Life after cancer can be of a bitch as well. Because of this I’m not really concerned about finding someone to help with my baggage. I also need to stop paying attention to the cancer influencers because they’re nothing like me and it is a good thing.

Really not nice but a good reminder!

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